5 things: Beer is shop quenching5 things: Beer is shop quenching

Cold beer here: Hold my beer. There is more shopping to do. Cornell researchers have determined that if a grocery store sells beer it’s good for business in other departments. The paper, titled “Destination Categories, Store Choice and Beer Distribution Laws” looked at grocery stores in Colorado shortly after it became legal to sell beer in the aisles in the state in 2019. The research found that beer sales led to people buying snacks, cheese, deli meat, and soda. “Our results show that the relaxation of laws that would allow alcoholic beverages to be sold in grocery stores can lead to fundamental changes in how people shop, where they shop, and what they buy,” said professor and researcher Bradley Rickard. That’s just a fancy way of saying grocery stores miss out on a lot if they do not sell six packs and cases. The study also found that beer-purchasing households visited a grocery store 3.6% more often and increased grocery store expenditures by 8% per month. However, nothing in the report reveals shoppers trying to do keg stands in the liquor department. —Bill Wilson

Market Basket’s big tease: Family-owned supermarket chain Market Basket garnered some social media buzz Thursday, posting about “a big reveal” coming Friday and noting that the Tewksbury, Mass.-based grocer would be “taking something old and making it new.” The Facebook post got more than 250 comments, far greater than is typical for the chain. Friday’s announcement, however, that Market Basket would be debuting a retro DeMoulas Super Markets logo on its new gift cards left some shoppers a bit deflated. “I’ve never been let down so much over something I probably shouldn’t have even cared about,” said one. Another said: “This is like getting a pair of socks for your birthday.” Said a third: “Some boomer with a marketing degree from 1989 probably thought this was an excellent idea.” —Heather Lalley

What did it smell like? Well, now I know what to serve a mouse on a charcuterie board. That would be smoked salmon and sausages. Hey, the tailed rascals know what they want. Unfortunately, the party never stopped at an independent grocery store in New York City called Barzini’s. Trigger warning: the following might make you vomit a little in your mouth. Along with the sampled salmon and sausages, state inspectors found rat infestation, mold-like residue on food surfaces, dead cockroaches on deli cutting boards, and cheese that expired in not 2024, not 2022, not even 2020 … 2018! Also, NYC Councilmember Gail Brewer said, “In one case, they saw a rat and five babies in the food.” Hey, you gotta take care of the young ones. The manager of the store admitted things were neglected for a couple of years, but pledged it would get fixed. There really is no choice because the store has been closed until it freshens up. Take some of the items and put them in the Grocery Hall of Shame. —BW

Human-sized pet bed in Aisle 3: State of the world got you down? Lidl just might have the solution. But you’ll have to go to the U.K. The grocer will soon be selling a human-sized pet bed, as reported by the Liverpool Echo. And, indeed, a peek at Lidl’s website shows that the “Silentnight Snuggle Pod—Human Pet Bed” goes on sale at the end of the month for $69.99 pounds sterling (or $87.37 U.S. dollars). Apparently, the publication said, Google searches for “human pet beds” have jumped more than 53% in the past month. And unnamed “research” reportedly claimed that two-thirds of pet owners would rather spend snuggle time with their dog or cat, rather than their romantic partner. No comment on that. But, Aldi, please give us a call if you decide to debut one of these in your Aisle of Shame. —HL

Don’t hit the rooster: It’s not a good time to be a healthy egg-laying hen with a sense of adventure. That attitude might get you caught and stored for eggs with the bird flu raging through farms and spiking egg prices into the next stratosphere. But when you are a roaming rooster it’s a great time to be alive, and one in particular has set up a home in the parking lot of a Brookshire’s grocery store in Overton, Texas. Customers love the little guy and often call him over for a pet and feed him. He goes by a few different names: Big Tex and Ole Red are a couple that are used. And, yes, the rooster has his own Facebook page. Now might be a good time to break out a merch line with the proceeds going to some bird flu charity. —BW